Common Mistakes in Academic Writing: Lack of Precision

When I review manuscripts, I often have to ask the authors what they mean due to a lack of precision in their writing. Let’s look at some examples:

1.     There was a significant difference between the two groups.

Help! How were the two groups different? Did the intervention increase or decrease the outcome of interest compared to the other group? If it’s significant, you don’t have to say “significant”, but you do need to provide evidence. A p-value or some other measure is needed. Here’s how to re-write this sentence: The intervention group reported a decrease in perceived stress scores compared to the control (p=0.023).

DO: identify the DIFFERENCE (what was measured) and the DIRECTION (increase, decrease).

2.     This intervention has potential public health implications for diabetes prevention.

“Public health implications” is too vague. What are those implications? Try something with more detail like: If implemented at scale, this intervention could support diabetes prevention efforts by improving glycemic markers in high-risk populations with limited access to primary care.

DO: develop your ideas sufficiently.

3.     This can lead to decreased quality of life and increased risk of mortality.

What is “this”? Starting a sentence with a pronoun isn’t usually recommended because it can confuse the reader. Let’s revise it to something like this: A sedentary lifestyle negatively impacts health; it often leads to decreased quality of life and increased risk of mortality.

DO: Avoid staring a sentence with a pronoun. Use pronouns when the subject is known to avoid unnecessary repetition.

One of the easiest ways to improve the precision of your writing is to step away from it. Put your writing aside and when you return, you will be able to re-read it with “fresh eyes”. This pause takes you out of your writing flow and forces you to really read what you have written. If you reread your work and it no longer makes sense to you, it almost certainly won’t make sense to your reader. Use this “step away” tool to sharpen your work.