If English isn’t your first language, writing a grad school personal statement can be tricky. I have another post about writing personal statements in general. You can find it here. After you follow that advice, look at your draft again and see if you’re making these grad school personal statement mistakes:

1)   Overly complex sentences

Many international applicants write very long, complex sentences because they associate complexity with academic sophistication. In a personal statement, clarity is more important than complexity. If a sentence requires more than one reading to understand, rewrite it.

DON’T DO THIS: Having been exposed to a wide variety of clinical environments throughout the duration of my undergraduate training, I was able to develop a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted nature of patient care.

DO THIS: My undergraduate clinical rotations taught me that effective patient care requires more than medical knowledge. I learned it requires communication, cultural awareness, and collaboration.

And don’t feel the need to use “fancy” words, like “multifaceted” in the first example. When native speakers do this, they often use these words incorrectly, and it actually detracts from your English skills. Don’t fall into the same trap! I know you want to sound educated, but the more important thing is that you want to be clear in your communication.

2)    Vague language

Words like "passionate," "motivated," "dedicated," and "hardworking" appear in almost every personal statement and do not distinguish you from other candidates. Replace these words with specific evidence. If you’ve read the previous post on personal statements, you’ll know this as my “Show, don’t tell” rule.

DON’T DO THIS: I am a dedicated researcher.

DO THIS: During the two years I worked in the lab, I collected and analyzed data for three studies, one of which is currently under review.

3)    Translating formal phrases from your language

Some languages use formal expressions of humility or deference that do not translate well into English academic writing.

DON’T DO THIS: "I humbly request the honor of being considered…" This kind of flowery language sounds unusual in English personal statements.

DO THIS: Express your excitement about joining the program. The committee knows what to do.

4) Overreliance on AI

There are ways to use AI in your application process, and there are things you need to avoid using AI for.

DO THIS: Use AI tools to help you correct grammar errors and awkward phrasing.

DON’T DO THIS: Do not use AI to write your personal statement. Admissions committees read enough personal statements to recognize AI-generated content. The structure of one statement is nearly identical to all of the others, the same phrases are often used, and you miss the opportunity to show why your unique set of skills and experiences will benefit the program.

5) Not closing strong

Your closing paragraph should do two things: explain why you chose this specific program (see my previous post here) and show what you will contribute to it. Many applicants do the first and forget the second.

DON'T DO THIS: Leave this part out!

DO THIS: My two years of research experience in X, combined with my academic training in Y, will allow me to contribute to work in the department while developing the skills I need to pursue my goal of Z.

Remember, while you are applying to the program, the program will benefit from the students it accepts. Show them why you will make great contributions!

If you'd like to have your statement evaluated, book an appointment with us here.